Thursday, July 26, 2007

Saying Goodbye

Last Friday Sam and I drove to Toronto.

The last time I would drive with my little buddy on my arm.

This was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make in my life. The time had come to say good-bye and it was only with the strength and courage of Jesus was I able to do it.

I did not want to go through this alone, so I asked my son Jon if he would make the arrangements with their vet and accompany Sam and I . He was only too willing to stand with me.
'You need someone to be there with you, to hold you and weep with you' he said to me over the phone .
He understood .

First we went to visit with Carol-Ann and Bruce and we met their new arrival 'Minnie Silver ', a bouncing joyful wee puppy the same breed as Sam.

Grrrrr... was Sam's greeting to this new baby, but later he did not fuss when she came near. He was a very sick little guy.
This loving family have been a huge blessing to Sam and I . Thank you so much you guys!

The grace of the Lord was with me so strongly on the Saturday morning, and I fought fear with the Word of the Lord in spite of ' jelly legs ' and wanting to throw up . Looking on it now it is absolutely amazing that I went through with it. You can change your mind at any moment , but I knew that the Lord had spoken to me that it was time.

Naturally, I am still haunted by the memory of the time in that little office where the 'procedure' took place.
Now, I wonder, was he scared ? He trusted me and had I betrayed that trust ? Everyone said I was 'doing the right thing ', but that didn't help even though I knew it was likely true .

I carried him there as I carried him most of our life together. I held him in my arms until the end. It is still difficult for me to say that Sam has died.

I felt so bad that I had to put him through that. In the beginning I had prayed and asked Jesus to please be the one to take him, since He is the Lord of Life . For His own reasons I was meant to walk through this process , with Him in me and with me and He did not disappoint.

Now I am alone, and the reality of this meets me at every turn. My friends are praying and I am so thankful to those of you who heard Jesus whisper my name in your ear and for responding so faithfully.

Every day is a little better and life goes on. Someday, I will surely not be afraid to find another little buddy.

At the end of the day, it is always worth it all .

Rebecca wondered who Mr. Bear is. Meet Mr.Bear Rebecca.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


Jonathan and Katherine,I want to thank you for being such a loving support for your mom. I love you. Then there is Maggie !

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Maggie seemed to have a sensitivity to my loss, and when I freaked out later in the evening she was right there verbally sympathizing and wailing with me. She snuggled with me the whole rest of the night. She's a good dog .

Since Sam accompanied me nearly everywhere these last many months his absence is noticed at every turn. When I returned to work on Tuesday, the butterfly on the window mentioned in a previous post, had only just emerged from her chrysalis. She rested on the screen for the afternoon and then when her wings had dried, took her first flight in new found freedom. A very good sign to me I think.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Monday, July 23, 2007

SAM

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

August 7,1995 - July 21, 2007


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


I will miss you my very best friend and faithful companion. I love you and will take care of Mr. Bear until we meet again.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Secretary ?

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Yep!!

Last week finished my first two weeks as a Medical Secretary. I think I did o.k. I am now more aware of the secular world and found out how it goes in some places with human frailty evident everywhere.

The girl who trained me, barely trained me. Later I found out in some places it is either the old 'sink or swim' scenario. I found that I know how to tread water pretty well, especially with the Lord holding me up.

The first day by myself with the Doctor, who is an orthopaedic surgeon, the x-ray machine crashed. This office day, every patient needed to have a current x-ray to go over with the doc.

Now this man is a 'Specialist' and when I told him the problem, the look on his face told me more than I wanted to know. With a room of about six patients, and more on the way, I had to cancel the rest.

What can you do ? Go with the flow, keep your head and be very thankful that God is on my team.

Not bad for a first day. I think it could go under the old Murphy's law catagory.

The rest of my time was good. How could it get much worse, except that I was nearly crazy trying unsuccessfully to get the phones onto the answering machine, and the doc was sitting right beside me on the computer adding to my stress and insecurity. Eventually I was successful.

Oh well, I thought, I am glad I have another interview next week .

Something Beautiful

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

This little fellow was brought to the home where I work in Lakefield by a neighbour. We hung it on the screen where we can watch it emerge. I have never seen a Crysalis up close.
My picture is not very clear, and it actually is stunning when you can see it clearly.You can see the little gold specs like a crown around the top and the gold dots down lower. I am so amazed at how God clothes hidden things in such beauty .
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Coming Soon

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Amazing !

Sunday, July 15, 2007

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AILA

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


My lovely grandaughter Aila is 4 years old! Happy Birthday Sweetheart! Grandma loves you very much and misses you.

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Remembering His Promises

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

This may be what life feels like some days.
BUT .... GOD has promised
And He is Faithful.

I had wings once and I will fly again ! I believe Him.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Sad Tonight

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket


Sometimes this is just how it is with us. In spite of all the distractions, at the end of the day this is what my heart holds dear.I am raw with this painful reality. Desolate but not alone.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Goin' Squirrelly

After a long weekend of work and relatively little rest, I decided to join the creatures in our garden for some entertainment. The first time I decided to feed these little visitors I used the peanuts in the shell. Later when I saw the mess they left behind I switched to unsalted, unshelled treats. What a huge success !
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Some came to watch

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Some just feasted

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

This little guy came close enough to ask for more please

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Meet Blondie

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Blondie gets chased away by all the others. Her tail is as blonde as my hair. She must be known as a misfit. I think I know how she feels.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

This little Chippy is my favorite because he is so brazen .

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

His cheeks are soooo full. Such a little piggy.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

In the meantime Sam sits on my knee, his whiskers raised and a gggrrrr...He's a sick little guy, but still taking care of his 'turf'.

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket