Well, ok maybe not actually falling , perhaps it just seems like it is . This post is written kind of tongue in cheek since that seems the only way to really talk about the last few weeks. No matter what it may look like I still have a mustard seed of faith that Jesus has deposited within me. Halleluia !
So... should I make a list or just simply ramble on. I choose rambling since I just got home from work a while ago and I am sleep deprived .
Recently got the results from my thallium heart scan to find out there is a spot of Ischemia in part of my heart, and will go to a cardiologist sometime . In my defense I choose to believe it is not because of years of butter , but years of stress instead and maybe even a brokenness of heart due to personal grief in the loss of Sam this last year .
I was working three jobs, which kept me busy and tired but at least paid the rent.
Until... eye doc guy decided he wanted someone with more medical experience and bravely left me a message on my voice mail. That was a good job and I really enjoyed the experience even though I was thrown in with only 3 hours training.
There are likely personal reasons the doc freaked out one of which was his regular girl of 30 years was not returning due to her second cancer surgery. I can understand the reason, just not the behavior.
I have had many job interviews and very little positive response , the reasons perhaps being my age and lack of years of experience. It does not seem to matter that I accomplished my course with excellence.
When I took the eye doc job, I gave up some of my Care Giving hours which my boss will not give back.
So, I'm beginning to see a pattern here. I head to Lakefield Saturday to discover the family of my seniors are going to be placing Min and B. in a nursing home since they have both had pneumonia badly and we are calling 911 a lot these days.
Hmmmm...Lord ??? When the Care Giving ends sometime in May likely that will leave me with one doc's office job one day a week......filing charts.
Lets see now, that was one huge car repair bill recently, car insurance due soon, rent to pay,expensive perscriptions to fill (no not vallium ) gas for my car, food ?
Hmmmmmm I wonder what's going on here ?
Am I freaked out yet ? Kind of I think !
On the other hand to see the bright side and yes there is a bright side, I have been listening to powerful teaching by Bill Johnson from Bethel Church in Redding California, where miracles are a regular occurrence. I am beginning to believe something good called restoration is for me as well.
Something IS happening in the depths of my being, and that is a very good thing. Truth is sinking into the clogged vessels and arteries of my heart and no matter what I see in the natural I will not be offended by the government of God over my life.
So even though it may appear that my sky is falling , I know the one who made that sky and trust Him way more than I trust the appearance of the shaking around me .
Keep coming Holy Spirit
Numbers 6:22-27 the Message
God bless you and keep you
God smile on you and gift you
God look you full in the face and make you prosper,
In so doing, they will place My Name upon the people.
3 comments:
Wow! That is a lot! I'll be thinking of you.
Bev
Goodness.....restore.....
Hi, Nancy! I was browsing Blogger tonight, and I found your prayer journal.
If you don't mind, I'm going to pray with you for a bit:
Father, Nancy has been under some stressful situations lately! I thank you, though, that she has a relaxing job now! In fact, the last entry I read explains that she's actually bored at work! ;o)
Jesus, please be with Nancy, even as she tries to relax and rest. I pray that she has a safe trip to Toronto, and please bring her home safely.
God, you are in control, even now! Thank you for that! I pray that you will bless Nancy financially so that she doesn't need to worry about anything. In Jesus' name, amen.
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