This is my Aunt Kay and Aunt Teresa, both now in heaven, Praise the Lord!
Today I received a call from my work, to take a shift that I don't usually have. Needing to make a living wage I accepted, and cut an hour from my school class to get there in time.
The lovely lady I cared for today has more advanced Alzheimer's than my clients that I do on the weekends. This Lady lives in a facility, a very nice facility, with others who also need the full time care.
I was not prepared ! I was definitely not prepared .
My Lady today cannot speak her words coherently any longer, so I could not understand her wishes, except to try to interpret by the tone of her voice.
I walked the halls with her, holding her hand. I changed her under garments, fed her dinner, and dressed her for bed, tucked her in, and said a small prayer over her, as she wept.
When I looked in her eyes, I saw my Aunt Kay. My Aunt Kay passed away over a year and a half ago from Alzheimer's.
In this ward, there were about twenty or so patients, men and women. One lady at our table was being fed by a worker, and her food was all over her mouth , like the way babies eat.
I thought of You Jesus. I tried to imagine the God of Creation, my Lovely Savior, hidden in her, with food smeared all over His mouth, and He unable to clean it off Himself. It was difficult. It is too much!
These dear souls walking the floors,( at least those who are still able to walk on their own,) having no comprehension . The man in the wheel chair, with the trachea tube hanging down the front of his shirt trying to mouth wordlessly to me, something I could not understand.
I don't understand anything. What is it about being human, that at the end of our time here on this side of eternity, so many of us are in this sad situation, and yet somewhere , somehow, there is a Sovereign plan unfolding for each of us.
I just keep thinking I don't understand, I am not qualified to do this.
Thank the Lord there are many wonderful workers who cheerfully meet the needs of these dear ones as best they can. They do a really great job, and serve these mostly forgotten ones with compassion, wit, and dedication.
I admire you, but I do not think I can be one of you.
How do you handle the pain ?
Yours at beholding this.
Theirs at enduring this ?
How do you keep your own heart soft in the face of this suffering ?
I wish I understood the "Why" Lord ?
7 comments:
wow....just so sad.
It seems that Cancer is such a horrible way to die...but could that be worse?
Or is it just worse for US? Is it a quiet unknowing death for those with Alzheimers? Or are they somewhere...trapped inside their mind...knowing they don't comprehend...feeling something is so wrong....wishing it could end??
So sad...
The fall of man was so total, the breaking of fellowship with God and the ensuing groan for restoration and redemption.
For man is "A breath that passes away and does not come again" (Psalm 78). Praise be to God who leads us in His triumph of the cross, through the valley of the shadow of death! For those in Christ: its only a shadow. Dark, yet without a hold on us.
It's such a challenge -- for the one who is in that condition and also for the caregiver!
I remember you saying once that you were so glad for Sam because he somehow made you and kept you tender in a time when otherwise you might have become hard.
Sometimes I feel the same way about the people I know who have extreme mental health or physical challenges or debilitating anxiety and panic about life in general!
Hi Nancy,
Rebecca and I are using your blog as a trial place for her to get going with her BETA blog Google account! Don't laugh! You're next! :)
Have a great day!
Carol-Ann (signed in as Rebecca)
TESST
I think tht if we understood and had the answers we would be neither loving or vulnerable...just know it alls.....so therfore we do not get given all the answers that we want. Keeps us dependant on God I guess.
nnnnn
Post a Comment