Once there was a girl who found herself very lost. In her tender years, this little one had known the destructive hand of abuse. Having lost most of who she was, her identity became twisted as she surrendered to the 'silence of survival'.
Her wounds were invisible, or so she imagined.
The place within her heart reserved for love alone , gradually disappeared, or so she imagined. She hid herself behind her walls,and from this place amidst the ruins of life, she remained small and unseen living her outward life mostly disconnected and became a 'Survivor'.
Psalm 105:17-19 "He sent a man before them, Joseph, who was sold as a slave. They hurt his feet with fetters, He was laid in irons. (his soul came into iron)
Until the time that his word came to pass, the word of the Lord tested him.
The Journey began. Still I was a slave , though unknowingly. The years of captivity that lay ahead , hurt my feet with fetters, and caused iron to enter my soul. Held captive by fear, rejection, anger and yes, even hatred. Still You never left me Lord.
Now I realise those were the days formed in the crucible of affliction, that you were forming an 'Image Bearer'. Memories of rising early in response to the call of Your Spirit just to be with You, warm my heart even now. This was where you taught me how to survive and I fell in love with You Jesus. You kept me. You were there, though many times I was unaware of Your Nearness and Protection.
That was long ago Lord and we have come a long way since then, and still there are times when I feel the chaffing of wounds that once bound me. I hear the taunting voice of the counterfeit lover singing his song of seduction that would lead me back to the darkness.
Tonight I remember an old song from the past. You Light Up My Life ! How the words still ring clear in my memory. You Light up my life, You give me hope to carry on, You Light up my life and fill my heart with song.
Sounds a little sappy Jesus, but the days are darker and the times more perilous than even those former days, so now, more than ever I need You to draw near and Light the way as we walk together through another deeper valley. I will quiet my soul as You joyfully sing Your song over me in the night and I will dream again and fly again with You alone.
2 comments:
I'm glad there is a place of safety for you.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if others who have had the same hurts and experience as you, knew about it too?
I believe its in His heart that everyone who has ever suffered abuse find the safe place that you have discovered.
How can it be?
That was beautiful!!
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