My first entry was....You make all things new.
Do what you have to do , help me to see, help me to hear, help me to rest in what You are doing even though I don't understand.
There was once a girl who lived in darkness . She was not aware that where she lived was a dark place. Well, yes, somehow deep inside she did know she was in a dark place , like a tomb or prison. Since that's what she thought life was she accepted her place without question.
She was very unhappy, but this too she believed was the normal life. No one ever told her about Light, about Life or Love.
All she knew was ... be quiet...don't make them angry, don't make the big dog angry or they will attack you.
All she wanted was to be loved, even though she didn't know what love was. She knew pain, she knew anger, she knew hatred, she knew rejection .
Rejection. Thrown away, despised, no good for anything, that's the lie she believed.
In her dark place this child of Light tried to make everyone happy. They will love me if I'm good she thought...or work...work hard and you can handle the pain.
The betrayal, the fighting, the lies, the fear....don't fight back.
Then one day she heard about a New Man in town. Everyone was talking about Him. It was rumored that this guy was the Son of the King. A Prince, and a good looking guy as well.
I wish the Prince would notice me....the whole town crowded around Him wanting His attention.
Meanwhile the girl watched from a distance. The broken desire of others had crushed her by now, she was used up, empty, used up....a lifetime of trying to survive had ruined her heart and mind. She feared for her mind because her thoughts were so numb now. Dead, she felt broken and dead and afraid. Afraid that she would never live !
Now she was old and forgotten. The Prince seemed busy she thought , too busy to notice an old crone . How did I get so old she wondered ? I want to awaken from the nightmare of this life. Regret of having sold her soul for a roof and food, and her body to preserve her life overwhelmed her heart . Where is the path past the rubble of brokenness....my heart...
Desperation driving her forward she pressed through the crowds just as the Prince turned to walk away and she reached out brushing her fingers against the sleeve of His garment.
The rest is history.....freedom !
As those tender eyes of love embraced her sin sick soul with compassion and forgiveness , healing flowed like warm sunshine and her heart found its home .
And Real Life Began .
July 21, 2005 ....surrounded by Life in the prayer room at IHOP K.C.
July 21, 2006.....back in my home town to begin again.
July 21, 2007.....My best buddy Sam went to puppy heaven.
July 21, 2008.....full time work
July 21, 2009.....looking at life through a different window.
No comments:
Post a Comment