It was two years ago today that my Little Aunt T. went to be with the Lord. I miss her.
My time spent walking with her through the last stages of her life are a precious memory to me still. The very fact that the Lord sent me there at all is amazing and I am grateful for every step of the journey, no matter how difficult and terrifying.
Some days in our lives are "marker days". That is why remembering is important. All too often I can become overshadowed by the grip of past trauma. This is not the case today. I am just quietly thankful for the whole journey, even the bumps and camel rides, not to mention the watering of same. (Genesis 24:19-20.)
There have been times in my life when I feel that the Lord has asked me to :
This has never, ever been an easy decision and I know there have been many unintentional woundings and misunderstandings along the path, with many regrets as well.
I am not only talking about leaving my beloved children and grandchildren,and the birthing of the Sanctuary House of Prayer, but unhealthy ways of thinking and believing, fears of making a mistake, all the 'what if's' that can so easily cause me to stumble and tempt me to be offended in my journey.
Learning to trust Jesus has actually been the whole point most of the time, and discovering His Faithfullness every step of the way is becoming my Joy.
The Truth I keep coming back to is that He IS Who He says He IS, and His Word is the Absolute Truth , no matter what I am experiencing, and, no matter how much the enemy would try to have me accuse Him and believe otherwise.
HE DOES SEE IT ALL, and HE DOES CARE !And He moves in my behalf.
Some time ago I found a word on Mair's blog and as I was reading it again today felt the Nearness of His Presence encouraging me to remembering my story.
Bring only your determination to serve and your willingness to be free.
Don’t wait for the bread to rise.
Take nourishment for the journey, but eat standing, be ready to move at a moment’s notice.
Do not hesitate to leave your old ways behind, fear, silence, submission.
Only surrender to the need of the time, to love justice and walk humbly with your God. Begin quickly, before you have time to sink back into old slavery.
Set out in the dark. I will send fire to warm and encourage you.
I will be with you in the fire and I will be with you in the cloud.
I will give you dreams in the desert to guide you safely home to that place you have not yet seen…. I am sending you into the wilderness to make a new way and to learn my ways more deeply.
Some of you will be so changed by weathers and wanderings that even your closest friends will have to learn your features as though for the first time.
Some of you will not change at all.
Some will be abandoned by your dearest loves and misunderstood by those who have known you since birth and feel abandoned by you.
Some will find new friendship in unlikely faces, and old friends as faithful, and true as the pillar of God’s flame. Sing songs as you go, and hold close together.
You may at times grow confused and lose your way, touch each other and keep telling the stories .
Make maps as you go, remembering the way back from before you were born…. So you will be only the first of many waves of deliverance on these desert seas.
It is the first of many beginnings of your Passover. Remain true to this mystery.
Pass on the whole story. Do not go back.
I am with you now and I am waiting for you.
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