Meet Ruth

Today as I finished my 'time' at work, I took a few pictures of some of my favorites.
My friend Ruth. Tuesdays at noon. I would come to her door, where her loving family have placed bright green shamrocks , so she would know it was her door.
Ruth would offer me cookies or seven up, ask me to 'sit' and chat. I would eventually get my work done on time.

I noticed all the little notes placed around her apartment. This light switch turns off the bathroom light. etc. and I knew. I knew by the trembling inside of me and the sadness dawning upon me, as I became aware of the long and heartbreaking road this family will walk.

I will treasure knowing Ruth . This is another 'Lady' Jesus has used to change my life and my path. It has been a very good experience in many ways, with the exception of the physical strain on my body.

Yesterday, I was feeling so tired and silly , not to mention sick with a cold. I gripped my trusty toilet brush, and bending down once again over 'the bowl', I chuckled to myself and came up with a new name for myself. 'The Lady of the Bowl' and the brush was my sceptre. I cracked myself up !

I remember in the winter, thinking how long oh Lord? Will this season never end? Really it hasn't been that long, time wise, just heart wise.

The benefits have been bursting to the surface within me this last week.
There was a comment on my last post by my friend Greg Burnett

It went like this. I hear Jesus walking with you. And I see you ministering to Him in His 'distressing disguise'. (cf. Mother Teresa)

I was totally undone. His distressing disguise.

Suddenly these words put a whole new light on the words of Isaiah 53.

He has no form or comliness; And when we see Him there is no beauty that we should desire Him.
He is despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid as it were our faces from Him;
He was despised and we did not esteem him. Surely He has born our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted.

Now I really want to 'see'. I want to be aware of the 'distessing disguise' of my Beloved as He walks this planet today, gazing into my eyes from the face of someone like my friend Ruth.

Maybe I really am the 'Lady of the Bowl', and instead of the toilet brush , I will exchange it for a basin and a towel. I will once again go to the low places, where I may, by loves gaze meet my Beloved in more lovely people like those I have encountered and served these last few brief but stunning months.

Tonight I will pack and early tomorrow head 14 hours south to the Prayer Room. It feels like coming Home again. Thank You Jesus for all You have started to begin in me.

Life Changing Ladies

These are the ladies that the Lord used to change and ultimately re-direct the whole focus and purpose of my life. My Aunt Kay in the wheelchair and my little Aunt Teresa. Two loving sisters , now re-united in heaven.

My Aunt Kay had Alzheimers disease, and I still remember how radically affected I was when I visited her with Aunt T. back in 2003. So many elderly and seemingly forgotten people, locked in a terrible world of forgetfullness , forgotteness, fear and lonliness. All dignity gone, as they have no control of their bodily functions. It's like infancy all over again, only the Door to eternity is standing open nearby.

Maybe it's true that those who suffer from this disease, are not aware in the later stages, but I cannot help but wonder. These are human beings who end their lives sitting for hours, alone and lost in hallways and lonely rooms of nursing homes. Many family members stop coming to visit for whatever reasons.

Today, my friend Ruth (one of my tenants) from my work, and her daughter gave me a box of chocolates as a going away thank you gift. Ruth seems to have early Alzheimers. I love this lady. I am sad when I think of the long journey ahead of her and her children.

When I go Ontario, I hope to pursue this field of serving the senior community. Today when I hugged Ruth, I knew I wanted to care for people like her.
There is a company called Home Instead Senior Care. This is who I have an interview with.

They provide services one on one, similar to what I did for my Aunt T. The pay is not great, but they use caring people like myself. I am not professionally trained to be a home care provider, but this is the next best thing for people like me to be hands on helpers. Cooking meals, light housekeeping, shopping, doctor's appointments etc. that kind of thing. So, we will see how that developes.

If I could be trained to look after Alzheimers patients, I think that is what I would choose, or palliative care. It's really the Lord who will prepare the way, and me as well.

I have rented a room in a home there, who will let me have Sam . This is a university town, so rooms are plentiful. The Lord has been so Faithful. I feel the need to travel light these days for some reason, so I will not take any of my own furniture.
Kind of reminds me of 'sell all you have and follow Me.'

There is an emphasis today on the younger generation being called and trained up by God for the days spoken of in Joel. When the Lord pours out His Spirit, it will be on ALL flesh, and that's the old flesh as well.

When I am with the elderly I am the youngster, and I get a kick out of that. These dear souls are as vital to Jesus as any of us, and He has begun to put this on my heart. Eternity is at the door for many of these I see every day, and that makes my prayers seem more urgent . So I am going, and I will pray, and see where the road takes me.

Trusting

The journey continues. I have one more week of work here. This time next week I hope to be sitting in the House of Prayer in Kansas City, for a time of refreshing and preparation.

When I return here, I will be deep in packing my dwindling belongings, in preparation for my journey to Southern Ontario. Peterborough to be exact, my home town. The Lord has provided a place for me to stay, and a job interview when I get there. The next step forward into unknown territory again.

I am learning to trust. My time here has been a difficult one in many ways. Through the trials, there has come a new depth in my relationship of intimacy and devotion with My God and Father.

I would not change this for anything. He has given me Courage,and Strength. He has been my Refuge, my Wisdom and my Joy. My Father, and my God !
I am learning about prayer. I am learning about how very desperately the Heart of God desires to make Himself known and real to His children, you and me.

Maybe, He feels like I do at times. I wish my children would want to know the real me. I don't mean the roles I filled while raising them and caring for them. During those years I poured my life into them and my God. Absolutely no regrets there. Ever!

The season has changed. Children are grown, living their own lives. Busy, very busy. I am alone, but not really. My Beloved never leaves me. We are on a journey.
I am definitely leaning, completely leaning. It's a good feeling most of the time, but then there are these moments when it is absolutely terrifying, and sad.

Terrifying to be homeless again, in a sense. Sad to be leaving my beautiful grandchildren. This is a challenge for all of us. The Lord knows my heart breaks with love for Anneka and Aila, Jared and Ryan.

When Anneka was still an infant, there were times when she would look at me, her big blue eyes would absolutely twinkle with joy, and my heart would leap within me. When she was born, I felt my heart leap the first time I held her, only minutes after she burst into this earth from the Heart of God. What a joy!

Aila, loves to sit with me, and likes to hug and talk and talk to Grandma. Just to be with me. This one too, I held for many hours in prayer, singing and coming into the Presence of Jesus, while her parents led the worship team. So much love and joy. These girls run to me with hugs and smiles, always so happy to see me.

I know God likes this when we stop what we are doing, and just sit with Him and give Him our love. He wants to show us more and more Who He really IS. He loves to show us His smile, and His eyes twinkle when He catches our gaze.

These children will not understand the leaving. I hope that someday, the Lord will reveal to them that Grandma was not crazy, but that she was following the Lamb, intimately, where He has called her to go.

It's not so crazy to imagine that He would have a mission for one such as I. It took Him some convincing to get this through to me. Remembering Sarah and Abraham, leaving the familiar to follow the Voice and the Vision. Not easy, but I have become willing.

I am not looking for happiness, that is an illusion that the world lures us with. True happiness has come FOR ME in my day to day walk with Jesus, through the storms of life on this planet, discovering His Faithfulness, Nearness, and Passion for me.

We walk on together, with joyful anticipation in the journey. Firmly held in His Heart and confident in His Covenant of Love He died to establish with me. I am willing to leap again.

It is Time

YOU are worth everything it took to get here.

OPEN !

Lift up your heads O you gates ! Be lifted up you everlasting doors !
And The King of Glory shall come in !

After these things I looked, and behold, a DOOR Standing OPEN in Heaven .

I wonder what Heaven was experiencing That Day, as they watched the plan of the Father being unfolded upon the earth ?
I wonder, was there silence and weeping as they beheld the Perfect Lamb being sacrificed ?

I wonder, did everyone hold their breath as He descended into hell taking back the keys ?
I wonder about the moment Father gave the Word, and Power Flashed like Lightning into the Beloved broken lifeless human frame lying in the tomb .

I wonder at the 'Sound' as Resurrection Life Exploded into the Earth and Heaven's Doors flew wide open.
Did You stand there Father, Your Arms that have longed to hold us close, now extended wide in anticipation of that first embrace ?
Me too !

That must have been some Party Lord ! We are still celebrating. Thank You for smiling upon us today .

Have I told You Jesus that I love Your Smile !

A Worthy Message

I found a wonderful and timely message posted here
Check her out.

True Value

I've been waiting a long time, to break this alabaster box.
Jesus You're Worthy of all of my love.
I am not ashamed to waste my life on You.

Flood

Change of Plans

I have decided to listen to Wisdom, and wait until the flooding subsides before I make the trip south.

Way too much water for this girl! It is over the I 29 in some places and I don't want to endanger myself or my car, so, I will wait until May.

Funny. I guess that's why I could not get excited about it, though I did buy Pam her Ketchup chips.

On the bright side, the Robin's are here !

Home to the House

I am planning on heading down to my favorite seat in the "House" this Thursday.

In the meantime my prayer is that Interstate 29 remains open and free of flood waters in Grand Forks and Fargo.
Going for ten days of refreshing and rest, and to pick up the things I left there in December.

Tonight was a delightful evening of worship and prayer at the new Sanctuary House of Prayer.

Heard a good word today. When God comes in His Majesty it's not something He puts on. It's Who He IS .

Springing Forth

The other day I was wondering if God moves His clock ahead. Does He 'spring forward'?
Is there a timing in God, that we need to be aware of ?
Over the years I have known that this is true, and that I need to be considering His timing while in the midst of planning my own life.

Hey! I wonder if the 'change of life' or the big M,(yes, men go through it too) is a very long,( for some of us,) 'season' of transition that we experience. Why ? Maybe, so that we can take courage knowing that sometimes the seasons of God seem not only unending, but are filled with turbulence. But I digress.

The following three verses in Isaiah speak of God's change into new seasons:

Is. 46:6. You have heard; see all this! And you , Will you not declare it?
I have made you hear new things from this time, even hidden things which you have not known.

Is. 43:19 Behold, I will do a new thing. Now it shall spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.

Is.42:9 Behold, the former things have come to pass, now I declare new things; before they spring forth I proclaim them to you.

Notice the phrase spring forth in the last two verses? These words mark a shift in time. Something new is about to spring forth. Will you not be aware of it He asks.

Often God waits until the last moment to move. But it is also true that when He does move, it can transpire quickly.

I want to understand and recognize the divine shifts in my life. Moments when God changes the times and the seasons. I want to be alert and flexible . I want to be ready.

Some of the above is from a book by Dutch Sheets, God's Timing for Your Life.

God's time is moving forward hour by hour, minute by minute.There are multitudes that seem to think they can live by any schedule they choose and that in their own time , they can turn to God. But His time is the right time.

Justice

Justice .... 1.n. a being righteous, 2. fairness. 3. rightfulness.4. reward or penalty as deserved 5.the use of authority to uphold what is just.

That is the cry of my heart today. A senior lady and her husband come to the dining room for breakfast.
The housekeeper assigned to clean their suite enters to clean while they are at their meal.(not this housekeeper)

During the meal, the lady has a 'accident', and has to be removed by her husband.
Once inside their suite, the husband takes his wife of very many years, into the clean bathroom, in order to clean her up. This man then proceeds to shout abuse and profanity at this lady, already very humiliated, while cleaning her.

Why is he angry I wonder? Is he scared ? Has the reality of the decline of his wife's health pushed him to the edge? Why is he taking his rage out on the one who can not fight back because she needs him to help her ? I do not know their story.

This evening at dinner time, they exit from the elevator. She is seated on her walker, and he is pushing her to the dining room. He curses because he is having difficulty . I glance at the woman and see a frightened silent captive.

Anger burns in my heart towards the man. I try to talk to the Lord about this. I am not to judge anyone. But my blood boils at the thought of this lady being humiliated by her husband.

Justice Lord! Come and make things right. We need you so desperately . We are animals of destruction without You. Our potential for destroying each other scares me. Man without God....the human heart without the Creator of that heart dwelling inside.

Unthinkable agony, for the Heart of the Savior who is also the only Righteous Judge, as He observes His Creation in such a state.

Yet He restrains himself , yet again, for the sake of mercy.
He alone knows the fullness of the reality that awaits the lost. So He restrains.

He observes with gut wrenching sobs the abuse of this life He created, yet he restrains a little while longer.

I still must cry out for the Judge to come. How desperately we need Him. That little terrified lady needs Justice to fight for her. (At least I can pray.)

Yes, he is a Terrifying Judge, but He is also the Lamb slain in our place, who took our judgement upon Himself. A Wonder of Salvation this Judge, and a Terror for those who decline His Invitation to Life. Is.63.

After I finished posting this rant, I was heading of to bed, when the lyrics to an old Daivid Ruis song rang inside of me. I had to get up and come back to it.

"I STAND IN AWE OF A GOD, WHO'S HEART IS RAVISHED OVER FALLEN MAN. WASHED IN THE POWER OF INNOCENT BLOOD, IT'S COVERING ALL OF MY SIN, AND I COME ....I COME."

I Wonder

I wonder if God turns HIS Clock forward ?

If He does , what would that look like ? I wonder ?

Homesick

Like the tide pulled to the depths of the ocean, so too my heart and soul respond to the shifting I feel in the depths of my being.

Overwhelming me, Your Voice hovers.
"Come, Come, away with Me."

"Draw me Away. I just want to be where You are.
Take me in to Your Secret Place."

"Listen oh Daughter, incline your ear.
The King, desires your beauty. Come away."

"I'll draw you with cords of loving kindness.
I'll draw you away. Will you arise?"

"Beauty Arise, Come away with me.
Listen Oh Daughter. Come away with me."

"Every thing that hinders Love,
Remove it. All those comprimises, remove it.
Catch those little foxes."

"Come away with Me, leave it all behind."
Will you Arise? Will you Come Away?"

"I say you are lovely,
You are Mine."