Now I have a few days off to get a some much needed rest .

Sanctuary

I am searching for a City of Refuge. I know there is a very definite spiritual battle raging. Most of the time I want to ignore it.

Lately though it has become clear once again that there are specific areas where the spiritual atmosphere easily influences my perception and sensitivity to the Spirit of the Lord.

As I sit here at my computer in my 'tent' I am feeling not too bad as long as the prayer room is playing . Somedays it is dark with oppression . I have prayed over and through this room in which I have to live, yet the house does not belong to me and therefore seems to be under another influence. I know who and why the influence is here, but cannot seem to shake it off and keep it out of my 'legal turf'. Or is it something within me ?

When I go to work the home in which I find myself, the atmosphere seems clear and quiet . I can see and hear from the Lord more clearly, even though sleep deprived. Even in my car it is so easy to connect my heart to the Lord.

When I visit Jason and Yvonne, it is amazingly apparent that there is a Spiritual deposit that lives with them . It is like a breath of fresh air to be able to connect with the Lord in their home . Maybe there is a portal being established there or over the city.

I don't quite understand why I can't establish anything here where I live. I am very unhappy here, and cannot seem to find release or a job situation that will allow me to have my own apartment and therefore establish my own Spiritual Safe Place.

Maybe it's like the song 'By the Rivers of Babylon where we sat down, how can we sing the Lord's song in a strange land ?'
Am I in a strange land directly from the Lord's hand to teach me something or have I missed God so badly that there seems to be no way out? I do not really know for sure.

One of the main enemies of my soul seems to be Unbelief. It feels like an actual 'presence' here in this house . Last night at work , I dreamed there were two 'brothers' fighting against each other over me.

In my dream I ran and hid in a closet screaming .(Way to fight girl!)
Can Faith and Unbelief be brothers from another age, or are they unseen warriors battling over me ? Or both ? Or am I loosing it ?

I don't really know the answers and am just talking it through to see if anything makes sense in the light of day. I hate the spirit of this age ! It seems to hang like a cloud over the land working overtime to obscure the Truth from eyes and minds of believers and unbelievers alike.

At the end of the day, I imagine I will make it through but the journey is taking it's toll . Perhaps that's the whole point. Yet I will set my face like flint and press into God.

Still....I can't help thinking .... Sanctuary !

Then there is the uplifting message from Max Lucado below reminding us of the Truth.

A Friend in High Places by Max Lucado God has put all things under the authority of Christ. (Eph. 1:22) Christ is running the show. Right now. A leaf just fell from a tree in the Alps. Christ caused it to do so. A newborn baby in India inhaled for the first time. Jesus measured the breath. The migration of the belugas through the oceans? Christ dictates their itinerary. He is the firstborn of all creation. For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him. (Col. 1:15–16) What a phenomenal list! Heavens and earth. Visible and invisible. Thrones, dominions, rulers, and authorities. No thing, place, or person omitted. The scale on the sea urchin. The hair on the elephant hide. The hurricane that wrecks the coast, the rain that nourishes the desert, the infant’s first heartbeat, the elderly person’s final breath—all can be traced back to the hand of Christ, the firstborn of creation. Firstborn in Paul’s vernacular has nothing to do with birth order. Firstborn refers to order of rank. As one translation states: “He ranks higher than everything that has been made” (v. 15) Everything? Find an exception. Peter’s mother-in-law has a fever; Jesus rebukes it. A tax needs to be paid; Jesus pays it by sending first a coin and then a fisherman’s hook into the mouth of a fish. When five thousand stomachs growl, Jesus renders a boy’s basket a bottomless buffet. Jesus exudes authority. He bats an eyelash, and nature jumps. No one argues when, at the end of his earthly life, the God-man declares, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth” (Matt. 28:18). The Christ of the galaxies is the Christ of your Mondays. The Starmaker manages your travel schedule. Relax. You have a friend in high places. Does the child of Arnold Schwarzenegger worry about tight pickle-jar lids? Does the son of Nike founder Phil Knight sweat a broken shoestring? If the daughter of Bill Gates can’t turn on her computer, does she panic? No. Nor should you.

I am so thankful for the timely words that hit my inbox just when I need it.

33 Years AgoToday

Then you were 3 and today you are way older! Happy Birthday Jonathan!

You are still soooo cute! hee hee !

The Hand Up

There are those times when we all need a Hand Up.

Birthday Dinner

Yesterday my sister JoAnne and family blessed me with a lovely Birthday dinner. These dinners have always been a tradition in her family for as long as I can remember.
There is a warm feeling of love and blessing as everyone gathers and celebrates the one with the birthday.It was lovely to be included as part of the family. Thanks Sis!
I loved the roast beef....yummy !



Sisters .....Me, JoAnne, and Darlene. Of course there was cake, and only a token of candles as we didn't want to set the house ablaze, and afer all I only have so much breath.


I just had to throw in this old photo of myself and Jo. I was 12. Jo has always been a 'cat person'. Our mother made our coats all the time back then. Darlene wasn't born yet .



My favorite nieces Holly and Sarah



Presents ! Lovely presents. Thanks again, JoAnne, Ron , Holly ,Sarah , Mike and Darlene. You bless my life and I love you all very much.

Safe In The Arms Of Love

Happy Birthday to me...... another year has passed. What a year it was, and I am glad it's over.
Usually I do a year end review of my life, just to see how the Lord has been leading and how I have progressed in my journey.

This year I do not feel so inclined. I have been too much aware of my loss, what with the passing of my Sam, the discouragement in trying to find a secure job, and the frustration of finding myself still living in a room in someone else's house.

It was not supposed to be this way.

When I made the decision to come here after my time at IHOP, I was filled with anticipation of the promises and vision from the Lord. It was supposed to be easy because if the Lord had been leading it would all come together the way I had imagined.

Ha ! I wonder if that is what Joseph may have thought after he had told his brothers of his dreams from the Lord. Notice that Joseph was not given dreams as a boy about being sold into slavery and ending up in irons in the dungeon. God did not tell him everything at the beginning of his journey.*Jill Austin reminded me of this*

I am not so brave as Joseph or any of the other biblical persons that I admire . Maybe I am kind of introverted, and like Ruth feel more comfortable gleaning in someone else's field, than having the courage to go and ask for covering and favor from Boaz

Whatever.....

Some of the things I did learn were very valuable. I discovered the John Eldredge book, Waking the Dead. He reminded me that this world is a war zone, whether we want to see it or not, it is still true.

We have an enemy who wants us destroyed, and a God who wants to teach us the truth about how He really feels about us, how to fight the lies and walk empowered in these days.

So by the end of this past year I had had enough thank you very much !
Enough pain and sorrow, enough fear, rejection and distress. You know the feeling of, 'Lord I can't take it any more....HELP ME PLEASE!

Still.... at the end of the day, I woke this morning to a whisper in my ear... Happy Birthday Beloved! BEFORE I formed you in the womb I KNEW you and I KNOW the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you a future and a hope.

The best thing that I have found yet again is that His Word is the truth, He is very much alive, and He cares deeply about me even when I think I am beyond loving.

So once again it is my choice. Today, as for me and my house I will serve the Lord!
After all, how hard can it be ?
Right Yvonne?

I just read Amrita'slatest post and found this great scripture.

Deut 1:31 says"The Lord your God carried you as a father carries his son all the way you went until you reached this place".

A fitting conclusion. I am very grateful Father, thank you.

Thank You So Much

I spent Christmas with Jon and Katherine at her parents home with the rest of the family , Mike, Ann, Karen, Loic,and his brother Yann(can't remember how to spell his name), not to mention pets Maggie and Oliver.
Oliver was fully recovered from his over indulgence, and subsequent treatment of a four pound box of dark chocolate a day earlier. Oliver will eat anything including panti hose and j clothes. He seen here protecting a tin of cookies hoping they are for him.



Later I was pleased to visit old friends the Allen Family. Kinza was faithfully practicing her latest piece on her brand new violin.



Carol-Ann thank you for your loving hospitality,and letting me play with Mini to distraction.



This little girl with her bear would make my Sam proud as she carries on the Mr.(Ms.?) Bear tradition. The similarities are amazing.



I gotta get me one of these little darlings!

Silent Night

Wishing all my friends the wonder and joy of the Presence of Our Savior throughout all the celebrations of the season. God Bless us everyone. Thank You Jesus for saying yes.

Christmas Wonder

A woman and an angel, a Promise and a Star.
A Word too great for any mind to hold.

A tax law and a journey, a stable and some straw
These tell the Greatest Story Ever Told.

Sing Glory in the Highest, He is come our Great Messiah,
Come bow before this awesome Majesty.

Mighty God and fragile baby, here a lowly manger holds
It's still the Greatest Story Ever Told.



He was just an ordinary baby, but that's the way He planned it
Maybe ... anything but common would have kept Him apart from the children that He came to rescue
Limited to some elite few , when He was the only child that asked to be born

And He came to us with eyes wide open, knowing how we're hurt and broken
Choosing to partake in all our joy and pain.

He was just an ordinary baby, that's the way He planned it
Maybe...so that we would come to Him and not be afraid

He was ordinary with exception of miraculous conception
Both His birth and His death He planned from the start

But between His entrance and His exit, was a Life that has affected
Everyone, who's ever walked the earth to this day,

With no airs of condesention He became God's pure extension
Giving you and me a chance to be remade.

He was just an ordinary baby, that's the way He planned it
Maybe...so that we would come to Him and not be afraid.

I just really liked this picture, and it is true that all creation rejoiced at the coming of our Beloved Savior.

Today I am on my way to Toronto for Christmas. It is pouring rain, which is better than blowing snow. More later.....God bless us everyone.

Dreaming

I had a dream about this little baby. Actually I saw three of them and the red bow was in her hair. Hmmmm....... Wishful dreaming I think.

Sarah's Dinner

Last Saturday my lovely niece Sarah and her husband Mike had the family over for a little pre- Christmas dinner celebration.


Thank you so much , it's always fun to be with you .


Nephew Adam, Niece Holly,and myself with our 'cracker crowns'.


Sisters!




More Sisters ! I know you are as close as we are . A very good thing.

Visitation

The boy child would be 9 years old in the morning. This child of sadness found himself in the midst of a house filled with shadows belonging to others he was supposed to trust. He could not as yet understand his world or even wonder at the why.

December 13th. 9 pm. Bedtime in his home.

He came softly to the living room, though no such thing as real living was ever allowed to show itself . He came to his young mother to say his goodnight.

Suddenly, this boy child dropped to his knees in an attitude of worship, covering his eyes from the brightness he alone was beholding. The mother watched, her heart pounding with a different kind of fear and trembling at her own awareness of the Presence of the Supernatural all around.

She too found her knees as did a little sister.

This mother saw nothing with her natural eyes but her recently awakened spirit was filled with awe and wonder.

Afterwards the child told his story through tears."I saw the stable ! I saw the baby Jesus , the wise men and the Angel."

Even as he recounted his vision, this mother recognized truth as it was written upon her heart. Jesus had visited . He had found us in the night in the lonely frozen wilderness of Winnipeg.

This is a true story and even as I write this , the remembering is strong upon me. This event took place 33 years ago tonight. Tomorrow the boy who is a man, has a birthday.

His path has led him far from his mother and she wonders every year on this day if he will ever remember that night so long ago.

For now, she continues to hold this child of her youth in her heart and before the Lord , loving him from a distance, praying for restoration asking Jesus to visit the boy, now a man. Perhaps this year he will remember.

THE LIFE APPEARED

This week brings to memory the passing of my little Aunt T. three years ago December 4th. In the early hours of this morning I was looking at that morning again in my memory. Some things stay very clearly no matter how much time has passed.

It was around 4 am. and I heard her coughing. I jumped from my bed and dashed to the kitchen, peered around the corner. I was about to ask her if she needed any help, but the coughing had ceased, so I quietly tip toed back to bed. I did not want to rouse her if it was not necessary since her pain and the wandering it cause her to do would mean a very long day. Then I heard a little more coughing and waited again. Silence.

Later that morning , around 9:20 am I went to put the coffee on. I peeked around the corner into the living room where we had her hospital bed set up, to see if Aunt T. was awake yet. Much to my horror she had passed away, and it was very obvious that this was so. I was freaking out and I was so scared ! I tip toed over to her almost afraid that if it was not really true and she opened her eyes, she would surely wonder what I was doing.

Anyway, that was three years ago, and this morning I was asking and wondering why I did not go and rouse her when I first heard her coughing. Was I being selfish in not wanting to wake her just so we could all get our rest, or was it meant to be the way it happened? Well, I wished I had done so, since then I would have been with her all the way home.

But I digress. As I was asking the Lord about all of this He very clearly showed me the truth of her final moments. THE LIFE APPEARED !!!



This is so amazing ! I can't tell you how many images of death and dying fell to the dust in my mind .

1 John 1:1-2 - The Word of Life

1That which was from the beginning, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched - this we proclaim concerning the Word of Life.
2The Life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and proclaim to you the Eternal Life`, which was with the Father and has appeared to us.


The Life appeared : was made manifest, to reveal,to remove the lid ,the act of divine revelation. TO BECOME VISIBLE !

So once again I knew, Jesus Himself showed up , once again in triumph , escorting another dear one into Eternal Life. ( I guess He did not really need my help. )

No wonder John the Baptist leapt in his mothers womb at the greating of Mary when she went to visit Elizabeth. The Life appeared !

Lord I do not want to live a life of dullness . Awaken my heart and my hope once again to be stirred to passion at the approach of Life Himself.

From a very early age I have been a puppy person.


When I was 4 years of age the little black dog who is the mother of this puppy was killed by a car out in front of my kindergarten. I remember running home in terror screaming, when some 'big' person told me my dog was dead.

My parents told me it was not my dog that had been in the accident, but 'Character' never came home again. My parents tried to protect me by telling me she had gone to a farm. That is all I remember about that, but it has left a mark.

Four was a very bad year for me in more ways than I want to recall, though I somehow made it through my first year of school and as a reward for all my hard work I remember getting one blue star at the end of a very messy printing scribbler.

This one below did not even belong to us, but I remember insisting that I wanted him in the picture as you can tell by the grumpy look on my face.


Then I had my very own best friend for a while . I still miss holding him close and taking him everywhere . He was such a good boy.



Sam has earned his wings

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

Today I returned from visiting the family in Ottawa. Since they will be in Winnipeg for Christmas, we decided to have a little pre- Christmas celebration just for Gramma and the girls . The pictures of the girls decorating the tree are my favorites.













Anneka was singing Noel, Noel, Noel , Noel,
Born is the King of Israel



Anneka asked me if I was going to wrap the presents in paper and put a bow on it and I told her I was just going to use a gift bag. She then offered to help me promising to close her eyes as we put her gift in the bag. Too Funny !



The joy and excitement is lovely and a sweet reminder of what Christmas has always meant to me.



This last photo is not Christmas related, but I was surprised at how quickly these Winnipeg children have adapted and become Senator hockey fans, especially Anneka.She is going to a game with her daddy soon.

Once again thanks for having me guys, I love you very much.

SHE LIVED IN SOLITUDE
AND NOW IN SOLITUDE HAS BUILT HER NEST
AND IN SOLITUDE HE GUIDES HER
HE ALONE
WHO ALSO BEARS IN SOLITUDE
THE WOUND OF LOVE

Trenton

Today I took a drive to Trenton to visit my friend Lillian. We had a small lunch and I smuggled in some home made tapiocca as a treat.
Nancy must not offend the help:)

All in all today went well, peaceful actually, as the opposition were not present to make us nervous.....don't ask....Thank you Lord Jesus!

I continue to read to Lil and make sure she is being properly cared for. She just celebrated her 87th. birthday . Happy Birthday Lil. Please pray.

This Old House

For we know that if our earthly body , this tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building (body) from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands.

The other evening while walking B. to her place on the couch with M. her hip joints were creaking away like crazy.
She does not have an artificial hip, but a few years ago when she suffered a broken hip they pinned it. Now as she struggles along that hip creaks like an old barn door. We joke about it and try to make light of it.

On Tuesday evening I remembered a really old song from my childhood made famous by Tennessee Ernie Ford, called 'This Old House'.

I had heard the late George Younce of the Cathedral Quartet sing it so beautifully, so I went to Limewire and now it is in my music file.
If I could find a way to put it in my blog here I would, but for now I am going to just give the lyrics,and anyone of a certain age will know the tune.



This old house once knew my children, this old house once knew my wife,
This old house was home and comfort as we fought the storms of life.
This old house once rang with laughter, this old house heard many shouts,
Now she trembles in the darkness when the night wind walks about.

Chorus:
Ain't gonna need this house no longer , ain't gonna need this house no more,
Ain't got time to fix the shingles, ain't got time to fix the floor,
Ain't got time to oil the hinges nor to mend my window pane,
Ain't gonna need this house no longer, I'm gettin' ready to meet the saints.

This old house is gettin shaky, this old house is gettin' old,
This old house lets in the rain, this old house lets in the cold.
On my knees I'm gettin' chilly, but I feel no fear or pain,
Cause I see an angel peekin' through a broken window pane.

Chorus: Ain't gonna need this house no longer....

Now my ol' hound dog lies a sleepin' He don't know I'm gonna leave,
Else he'd wake up by the fireplace , and sit there and howl and grieve,
But my huntin' days are over, for I ain't gonna hunt for 'coon no more,
Gabriel done brought in the chariot when the wind blew down the door.

Ain't gonna need this house no longer.....

In the arrogance of our youth, we think and feel that we are invincible. For many years it is all about us, raising our children as best we can, making the best of what life sends our way.

I remember giving little thought to the fact that my parents were actual people with hopes and dreams of their own. I remembered their struggles and their fights, but really had no idea how their broken dreams had cast a shadow over all of us. I didn't care much back then either but just wanted to get away .

With maturity and Jesus , I eventually came to a deep understanding and appreciation of my mom and dad as people like me. My dad died when he was two years younger than I am now, and I was 32 then.

I understood but I did not really ever get to know them the way I now wished I had. It just wasn't done in those days, at least not in our house.

I am so glad times have changed. I love getting to know and enjoy my children as the wonderful adults they have all become. I am so proud of each and every one of them and all they have accomplished in their lives so far. I remember being their age.

Still, it never occurred to me that someday, I would be the age my parents were when I though them old and so uninformed. Now I have some of the same wrinkles some of the same aches and pains in my joints, and maybe just maybe, my hips will creak like the barn door as well.

I pray that I will always remember my children, my grandchildren, what I have just eaten, what day it is , how to dress, how to lay down, and most especially I pray fervently that I never forget my God.

Funny the memories that and old song can trigger .

Random Thoughts

He said to me, ' You are my servant,' but I said , I have labored to no purpose; I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing. Is.49:4

There are many days when this is exactly how I feel, more than I would like to admit actually. The other evening as I was trying to comfort myself with His Word, I came across this scripture and saw myself admitting to God just these thoughts , wondering if He noticed or cared.

Isaiah experienced this, and so did Jesus , just to mention a couple. I am in good company. The enemy of my soul would have me accuse the Lord and challenge His government of my life , which sometimes I am tempted to talk to Him about. Most particularly His timing and memory concerning promises made.

'Yet what is due me is in the Lord's hand, and my reward is with my God.'

When I gaze into the night heavens and behold the stars blazing with brilliance , when I consider the Big Dipper, my very favorite since childhood ,I am brought once again to peace and trust in the One Who Created all of these.

Recently though this little guy caught my attention. Just look at how God is into detail.



Then He placed this guy and his family in Antarctica, where for many years only God knew they were there and took pleasure in His Majestic King Penguin. Maybe they really do have 'happy feet'.

And Joseph remained in prison but the Lord was with him.