Monday, August 31, 2009

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As the temperature starts to dip at night to four degrees, you know it's time to head to the storage cupboard and do the dreaded deed.
For me this just means once again sorting through my big rubbermaid bins and rediscovering clothes for the fall and winter.
Every year, I seem to keep some things 'just in case', and 'you never know' and 'maybe that will fit me next year' so I had better hang on to it because you never know.

There have been seasons in my life where downsizing has not been a problem, so I give away stuff liberally. Then I go browsing to Value Village or the Salavation Army Thrift store and suddenly it seems, my bins are overflowing again.
One time .....I actually bought a pair of sweat pants and when I got them home, thought they looked very familiar. Yep.... I had bought back the same ones I had donated ...I was so embarrassed. They are now re-donated .

Anyway, the whole point of this story is that now I have one totally empty bin left over and a very large pile of laundry to do, since those plastic bins leave the clothes smelling very unpleasant.

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The challenge in the apartment I am in now is that I am paying my own hydro and heat, whereas previously it was included in my rent so I was very free in my usage.

Now I am agreeable to turning lights off,( my mother must be smiling in heaven) buying those special energy saving bulbs , using night lights (for ambiance of course, and so that Zoey and I don't bump the furniture in the dark .Ha !)

With the change of seasons will see how long I can go before having to turn on my heat. I remember one of my sons and his room mates could make it all the way to November in Ottawa, and even then I'm sure they froze though they would not likely admit it.

As the season changes here in Southern Ontario I am most looking forward to the glory of the leaves as they display their brilliance, and that particular fragrance they emit in their dying....so lovely.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

August 27- 1972 - 10:55 pm

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Thirty seven years ago today...tonight actually at five to eleven in the evening, Jesus came to me, found me, forgave me, saved me...gloriously!

No turning back....ever....forever surrendered to You Jesus . I am so grateful .

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Early Morning

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Early morning out my window. Just so lovely and peaceful and worth leaning perilously over the railing to try to capture the moment.

I am so blessed by the beauty and the Voice that declares He is Alive eagerly greeting my weary soul. Thank you Lord.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Angel With Sour Guitar

Julie Meyer is a lady I respect and admire, and she receives many dreams and prophetic words from the Lord. I came across this one on the Extreme Prophetic web site recently and I have to say, there has been some fine tuning going on in my life. Much tweaking so to speak.

Fact is I didn't realize what the heck was happening amidst the swirl of things I am encountering and dealing with. Yesterday after work, suddenly the Lord spoke and said I must be about My Fathers Business.

Ahhhhh !(light goes on) Yes....me too Lord, count me in. I have no concrete insight in what He means , but kind of makes sense of the current distraction and much of the recent warfare.

It's not a lengthy video so take a moment and watch here

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

March 22/2007

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Recently, while tuned in to the Prayer Room, I heard a few phrases from the worship that stirred my heart to listen more closely. There are times in the midst of the daily grind with all its distractions and demands, I can loose my focus.

The raging winds that assault my life at times get blamed on God, thinking that His testing will never end, when really it is the enemy of my soul taunting my faith.

There's a Storm comin' My heart needs God!
There's a Storm on the horizon, It's not going away.
There's God on the horizon. He's not goin' away!

The Season is changing.

The Lord shares His secrets with His friends.


Then the the other day, I opened my bible to Isaiah 32.

Behold , a King.....

A Man will be as a Hiding Place from the wind, and a cover from the tempest
.

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I am so grateful for the Living Word of God. Jesus. My Hiding Place. He is Real. That's the Truth. I believe Him.

Shadows gather around me these days. Sam's decline and eventual passing. Waiting for the Lord to provide and make a way in the fullness of His Will for my life. The taunting voice of the enemy that mocks and presses unbelief upon me to the point of despair.

Many times I feel forgotten by God. Perhaps some have known these feelings. Joseph in the dungeon, David, Jesus from the cross.

Psalm 42:3 My tears have been my food day and night, while 'they' continually say to me, Where is your God?

Sometimes we need discernment as to who is really asking us to drink the cup that hovers before our eyes.

Then the Lightning flashes to reveal the lies, and here and there I hear the Voice of a Friend from afar, shoot arrows of Truth and encouragement into my grieving soul.

Lord, thank you for the Words of Life You have written through Your Spirit and breathed into my heart in the midst of the storms of life.

I believe there really is a God Storm coming, and all the tensions I endure will enable me to stand firm and unoffended in that day. I find myself in the Man who is my Hiding Place.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Woooo-Hooo !!



Jeanette, this is something I had wanted to do since I saw my son's video of his jump.
So on my adventure it was a mother / son experience. It is true that I prayed for several months before the event so that I would not freak out and miss the fun.

There was another chap with a camera on his helmet I think, and he jumped as we did and that's how he filmed it. Pretty cool guy called 'Fuzzy Dave'.
He then landed first so that he could film the rest of us coming in. The tandem instructor was very qualified and had done thousands of jumps.

It certainly was a Leap for Life and Freedom .

I think someday, we will all fly free of this earth and that is the poignant point of taking a leap and trusting Jesus. One is very aware of gravity when free falling at 120mph. before he deploys the chute. It happens very fast... I love that I can watch it over and over and realize that it is actually me doing this and not some stranger.

By the way, when I watched my son's video, I wept every time and it was the call to fly free with God , even while still earth bound that moved my heart I believe.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Old Friends

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The other evening I went to visit my dear friend Min. He is now safely located in Canterbury Gardens here in town, since his beloved Bertha passed away last July.

A couple of the old staff still do a bit of visiting and caring for him. I took him a few of his favorite treats...peanuts in the shell. He always likes to crack them open, and it seems to give him some satisfaction. Min just celebrated his 94th. birthday...amazing !

It was good to revisit the memories of my years with this lovely couple and below is one of my friends Barb who was there caring for Min when we visited. Thanks Barb for the tour and your compassion is beautiful.

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Sunday, August 09, 2009

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Known

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As one may have noticed I like the thoughts of Max Lucado. It seems like every day when I open his devotional Jesus speaks to me.

The other night I lay awake for a time just pondering in a new and deeper way that I am known by God Himself !

There are times when I realize that I look to others , wishing that someone would want to know and love me just for who I am. The crazy blonde lady who is madly in love with Jesus .

Over the years I have reluctantly learned to try not to put unreasonable expectations on my family and friends to meet this need that can actually only be completely fulfilled by God Himself....first !

First God....maintaining eye contact ...as it were....and then let the rest flow out of the stability of my heart in this place of resting in the wonder of being known by God.

What an amazing revelation ! Very cool Lord ! You Belong to Him

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Tomorrow's Dream, Today's Courage

Four people snake their way up the mountain. The trip has been long; the hour is late. A level place on the hillside is reached, and they sit down. They’re tired. Their muscles hurt. The grayness of twilight settles over them like a soft cloth.
The quartet of pilgrims longs to sleep, but only three do.

The fourth sits in the shadows. Legs crossed. Face skyward. The stars wink at their Maker. Winds waft over the shoulders of their Designer, cooling his neck. He slips off his sandals and rubs his sore feet and reflects on the wildness of it all.

A God with sore legs? Holiness with hunger? Divinity with thirst?
A World Maker made weary by his world? His thoughts drift homeward.

Nazareth. How good it would be to be home again. The memories surface so easily. Sawdust-covered workbench. Friends stopping to talk. Dinner-table laughter. Wrestling with his brothers. The synagogue. The house. The home. What I’d give to go home.

But Nazareth would never be home again. They tried to kill him the last time he was there. Neighbors, friends, teachers, schoolmates . They squeezed the stones intended for his body. Even his brothers and sisters considered him insane. They wanted to hide him, to put him away. They were ashamed to be known as his family.

No, Nazareth can never be home again.

What about Galilee? He could go back to Galilee. There the crowds listened. There the people followed. But he shook his head. As long as I made them bread . As long as I said what they wanted to hear. He remembered the crowds as they turned away. He heard their jeering. He felt their rejection.

No, I can never go back to Galilee.

He thinks of Jerusalem. She offers no comfort. He knows what she will do to him. A foreboding pain stabs his wrists. He winces at the slicing of his brow. He sees the world around him growing darker, darker. My God! a premonition inside him cries.

He shakes his head and breathes a staggered breath.
His thoughts return to the present.

He plucks a shoot of grass, puts it into his mouth, and sits in the shadow of his fear. He looks at his followers, as asleep as they are naïve. They have no idea. They just can’t understand.

He speaks of suffering; they think of conquering. He speaks of sacrifice; they think of celebration. He’s an artist painting for the color-blind. He’s a singer singing for the deaf. They nod their heads and clap their hands. They think they see. They think they hear. But they don’t. They can’t see. No one sees.

Part of him knew it would be like this. And part of him never knew it would be so bad. Part of him wonders, would it be so bad to give up? After all, there might be a better era. There will be other generations , other people.

He has given his best, and what does he have? A ragged band of good-hearted but hardheaded followers who are destined to fall face-flat over promises they can’t keep. He puts his face into his cupped hands and closes his eyes and prays.

It’s all he knows to do.
******************

Sounds familiar, doesn’t it, seeker? Was it so long ago that you were on a quest for truth ?
Sounds familiar, doesn’t it, dreamer? You wanted to badly to change the world.

Sure the mountain was high, but you were brave. Then the winds came. Sharp rocks of reality cut your feet, breaking your stride . . . breaking your heart. And you found that the role of the cynic was less costly than the role of the dreamer. So you sat down.

We need to know something: Jesus sat down, too.

Oh, sure, there were moments when he stood tall. There were hours of splendor. There were dynamic days during which the lepers leapt and the dead came alive and the people worshiped. Those days came.

But his plateaus of popularity were gorged by canyons of isolation.
And on this day, the crevasse is deep. Steep walls mock an easy escape. Rocky abutments imprison his vision. His strength has reached its solstice. He sits down and puts a tear-streaked face into cupped palms and prays.

It’s all he can do.

And when his Father sees him, it’s all his Father can take. From another dimension, a light comes. It enters the solitary figure and glows.

“As he was praying,” Luke writes, “the appearance of his face changed, and his clothes became as bright as a flash of lightning."

Jesus implodes with glory.

For just a moment, he is transfigured; a roaring radiance pours from him. He becomes as he was before he came. For one brief, shining moment, the burden of his humanity is lifted. “Decarnation” occurs. He is elevated above earth’s horizon and escorted into the eternal. He is home again. Familiar sounds surround him. Those who understand welcome him. And the One who sent him . . . holds him.

Dusty trails and hard hearts are, literally, a world away.

The One who felt weary is reminded: the weariness will soon pass. Moses and Elijah, aflame with eternal robes, stand beside their King. When Jesus was preparing himself in the desert for the work of life, angels came to encourage him.

Now, on the mountain, preparing himself for the work of death, Moses and Elijah draw near: Moses, the Lawgiver whose grave no man knew; Elijah, the prophet who sidestepped death in a fiery chariot.

The One who saw death is reminded: the grave is impotent.

And then, the voice thunders. God inhabits a cloud. It becomes a bonfire, puffy with brilliance. It consumes the shadows. It transforms the nightened mountain into a shining monument. And from the belly of the cloud, the Father speaks:

“This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!”

The One who had despaired is affirmed. “What people think doesn’t matter,”
God shouts. “What I think does. And I’m proud.”

This is an excerpt from Max Lucado's 'Up Words' and more can be found HERE under the 'Weekly Words'

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

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God ....if You are doing anything on the earth right now
I want to be a part of it !



Read this on Randy's blog this morning and must shout out my agreement.

Friday, July 24, 2009

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The last couple of days in reminiscing with my brother Rob, he reminded me of some funny stories.

When we were kids, our mother had to work, same for our dad. Mom worked at a place called the Bonner Worth Woolen Mill , and all I remember was that some times she would bring us home the ends of the skeins, and huge chunks of chalk like the kind used by children today as sidewalk chalk.

Sometimes her shift required her to be gone at different times, so since I was the oldest it fell to me to babysit. I might have been around 8 - 10, can't really remember. At that time there were myself, Rob, Joanne and Michael and Darlene came along later..

Anyway, Rob remembered that one time I made 'cooked pudding' for dessert( before the advent of instant) and dyed it green , but the kicker is I decorated each bowl, by putting each of our initials on top.....with toothpaste !!!!

As he told me this, there was a flicker in my brain of remembrance ....
yep...I guess I did. Wasn't that domestic of me !

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Couldn't find a picture with toothpaste initials on it.


This same brother used to chase me with the broom....or was that me chasing him...he was such a little terror, that I do remember. The memory that stayed with me forever was when he would chase me with a feather out of the pillows and for many many years I had a deep fear of moths.

I am happy to report, the Lord has healed that great terror for me .....once I realized they crumble to dust when you whack them with a good and thick rolled up newspaper, no not a fly swatter, too close contact...has to be a thick item for plenty of distance between my hand and his flaky body....I call that a healing anyway. No way do I let the little monsters live.....yep I'm healed alright.

There are likely many more humorous memories hidden away beneath the not so good ones that like to try to dominate.

I am told everything is in there... the memory that is. Once while having an MRI I totally remembered something as the ions were messing with my frame, and after that big magnet was shut down, it was gone . So weird.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

It's Just How I Feel

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Like oil upon Your feet
Like wine for You to drink

Like water from my heart
I'll pour my love on You

If praise is like perfume
I'll lavish mine on You

Till ever drop is gone
I'll pour my love on You


Worship from the prayer room by Misty Edwards overwhelming my heart as well.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Reflection

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The last five years of my life have held some very remarkable changes and though the journey has been bumpy and I have felt adrift from time to time, over all , the tender hand of the Lord has guided me along.

The fact that many times I was unaware of His Nearness doesn't matter tonight for that season has diminished and a new awareness of the intensity of His Presence has gripped my heart...and I am very glad.

The call to go and take care of my little Aunt T. came in the summer of 2004. That was a difficult challenge, but knowing it was His plan kept me grounded. It was later, after she died, (and went to heaven!)that I carried my grief to the prayer room at IHOP. The knowledge of serving Him in the disguise of my little Aunt T. was a total revelation to my heart and created a desire to pursue care giving .

What a blessing to find myself just a year later caring for my dearly beloved senior couple in Lakefield. Though terribly sleep deprived for the duration of my employment there,that job was the most fulfilling in my life aside from raising my children.

That's the issue I'm trying to ponder .

Fulfillment .

Serving Min and Bertha or more accurately Jesus , again in another of His distressing disguises, was so great for ME. That may have been the whole point the Lord was trying to instill in my heart. Joy in serving others/ Him . Except it was not 'selfless' as is the way Jesus enjoys serving us in endless ways on into eternity.

Now, the job I am employed in is not selfless, and definitely NOT fulfilling in ANY way , except that somewhere in my brain is the knowledge that the Lord has stationed me there , and at least it pays the bills. I am still sleep deprived, but not because dear Bertha needs me, but just because I must get up early to prepare to make a living .

Making a living is NOT fulfilling, at least not in my life. So all I can make of it is the fact that I am maybe being obedient to the Lord, though not very willingly, sad to admit.

When I was at IHOP there was a conference called 'The Joseph Company' and it is aimed at those Christians in the marketplace.
The call was for intercessors . I remember thinking, man, I would love to get paid to be in a job just to pray.

Well, guess what girl??? You are ! You dumb blonde !!!!

So the joke is on me. The thing I didn't realize is that it's way different than the way I wanted it to be and the test is, can I manage to hang in even though it feels so unfulfillable and mostly drives me crazy AND I'm not working for a Christian, which I so naively once thought was the whole point ?

So....one is never too old to learn , just maybe a bit slow in getting the drift of the lesson. I think I need a tutor. Glad my teacher is God .
Is He not so very Wonderful ? He is Unlimited Patience, and I think I see Him with a grin on His Beautiful Face . I love you Jesus sooooo much!

Thank you for loving me so outrageously !

Walking Into Healing

July 21, 2004.......Five years ago a story came to me during my prayer time.
My first entry was....You make all things new.
Do what you have to do , help me to see, help me to hear, help me to rest in what You are doing even though I don't understand.

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There was once a girl who lived in darkness . She was not aware that where she lived was a dark place. Well, yes, somehow deep inside she did know she was in a dark place , like a tomb or prison. Since that's what she thought life was she accepted her place without question.

She was very unhappy, but this too she believed was the normal life. No one ever told her about Light, about Life or Love.
All she knew was ... be quiet...don't make them angry, don't make the big dog angry or they will attack you.

All she wanted was to be loved, even though she didn't know what love was. She knew pain, she knew anger, she knew hatred, she knew rejection .
Rejection. Thrown away, despised, no good for anything, that's the lie she believed.

In her dark place this child of Light tried to make everyone happy. They will love me if I'm good she thought...or work...work hard and you can handle the pain.
The betrayal, the fighting, the lies, the fear....don't fight back.

Then one day she heard about a New Man in town. Everyone was talking about Him. It was rumored that this guy was the Son of the King. A Prince, and a good looking guy as well.

I wish the Prince would notice me....the whole town crowded around Him wanting His attention.

Meanwhile the girl watched from a distance. The broken desire of others had crushed her by now, she was used up, empty, used up....a lifetime of trying to survive had ruined her heart and mind. She feared for her mind because her thoughts were so numb now. Dead, she felt broken and dead and afraid. Afraid that she would never live !

Now she was old and forgotten. The Prince seemed busy she thought , too busy to notice an old crone . How did I get so old she wondered ? I want to awaken from the nightmare of this life. Regret of having sold her soul for a roof and food, and her body to preserve her life overwhelmed her heart . Where is the path past the rubble of brokenness....my heart...

Desperation driving her forward she pressed through the crowds just as the Prince turned to walk away and she reached out brushing her fingers against the sleeve of His garment.

The rest is history.....freedom !

As those tender eyes of love embraced her sin sick soul with compassion and forgiveness , healing flowed like warm sunshine and her heart found its home .

And Real Life Began .

July 21, 2005 ....surrounded by Life in the prayer room at IHOP K.C.

July 21, 2006.....back in my home town to begin again.

July 21, 2007.....My best buddy Sam went to puppy heaven.

July 21, 2008.....full time work

July 21, 2009.....looking at life through a different window.

GOD'S APPOINTMENT

"I formed thee... I knew thee... I sanctified thee; I have appointed thee."Jer:1:5

GOD HAS a plan for each of his children.

From the foot of the Cross, where we are cradled in our second birth, to the brink of the river, where we lay down our armour, there is a path which He has prepared for us to walk in.

God also prepares us for the path He has chosen. We are His workmanship, created unto the good works which He has before prepared.
There is no emergency in the path for which there has not been provision made in our nature.

From the earliest inception of his being, God had a plan for Jeremiah's career, for which He prepared him.

Ask what your work in the world is, that for which you were born, to which you were appointed, and on account of which you were conceived in the creative thought of God.

That there is a Divine purpose in thy being is indubitable. Seek that you may be permitted to realize it, and never doubt that you have been endowed with all the special aptitudes which that purpose may demand.

(F.B. Meyer devotional from e-sword.)

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Isaiah Six

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When he saw them veil their faces in adoration, when he discovered the whole universe was filled with God, he remembered his own darkened heart.
F.B. Meyer.

I am undone....

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Aila is Six !

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Wishing you a very Happy Birthday Aila Darlin'.
Gramma and Zoey love you very much.


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Have a blast shopping !

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

We Now Have Air

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Ta Da!!


First though it was necessary to remove the safety rail from in front of the windows.

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It just looks like she is not enjoying herself.


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I hired Gerry the maintenance man, the husband of Candace and the daddy of Thatch, one of Zoey's buddies to do the work.

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I also bought plexiglass to install above the air conditioner so that I would not loose the view. I got that suggestion from the owner of Timber, another puppy friend.

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Good job Gerry . Thanks. Now at least if it ever gets hot enough this summer we will not cook in the humidity.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Return to Haliburton

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While trying to recover from moving exhaustion ,I decided to visit our friends in Haliburton .
I had been putting this off due to the fact that this city girl does not fare well amidst the kind of insects that prey upon the blood of my puppy and myself, especially in the real country and not just the lawn beside our apartment.

So, it seems that those nasty black flies had been dispersed, only to leave way for the Deer Fly. I have to say, these are also very mean and nasty . They dive bomb any unsuspecting creature , buzzing very loudly , angrily taking aim at any exposed hide available . I have been told they can cause deer to come charging crazily out of the bush trying to find relief.

Well,when it came time to take Zoe out for her night duty,( I did have a safe animal insect repellent for her, thanks to Carol and Bud.)
I was somewhat apprehensive until my friend came up with the gear she uses to keep from being a bugs meal.

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Works quite well, though not terribly attractive , and they tell me the next bad bug coming is the Horse Fly.

How do these folks handle putting up with all this ?

Hmmmmm....I may just have to stay here in the city for a while longer. Yep....I'm a wuss!

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Update

It has been a very long and busy two weeks at least. Last week I took the week off to prepare for and do the actual moving process from the forth to the seventh floor. For three days prior to move in I transferred many carts of boxes and smaller furniture by myself.

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Then good friends and family helped me move the heavier furniture. One thing I have been reminded of is the fact that I am getting much too old to be moving my furniture around, changing my mind, moving it again, changing my mind....you get the picture...

During most of the confusion Miss Zoe found herself a soft and safe place to try to cope with the chaos.

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The previous view from our window.


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The present view.


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A perfect place to watch the fireworks on July 1st. sitting on my bed.

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Then after a deep breath I was blessed to be able to spend time with some special people . Meet Cailey , the grandaughter of friends of mine from Orillia.

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Grandpa Gary and his wife Faye travelled by boat from Orillia to Peterborough on the Trent Severn Canal and docked at Del Crary Park and Marina on Little Lake. The picture of the fountain above is located in the middle of the lake and is also where the fireworks display took place on Canada Day.

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Then it was off to a Birthday Celebration with family at my sister's place. I am not allowed to publicly say the age of the Birthday Lady....but her name is JoAnne. Pictured below my sister Darlene, and the other side of me the Birthday girl herself and our cousin Francine from Toronto.

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Now it's back to work, and hum drum.....getting used to having to get up too early in the morning and make a living somehow or other. I think I prefer busy.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Archive Photo

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This picture of my dad was taken in 1947 at the Peterborough Exhibition where the radio station he worked for at the time set up a live broadcast booth.

(I was one year young.)

Check out the big 33rpm records and the smaller 78's , long before the advent of the popular 45's of my teen years.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Discovery

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Zoe leads a quiet and rather boring life while I am at work. With our preparations for moving next week things are everywhere. I set a mirror on the floor, and someone makes a fine discovery.

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Hi there ! Do I know you ?


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I think she is very pleased .


Her predecessor Sam used to growl at any reflection of himself. Puppies are so much fun !

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

God’s Surprises

“No one has ever imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.”
I Corinthians 2:9

Have you got God figured out? Have you got God captured on a flowchart and frozen on a flannelboard? If so, then listen.

Listen to God’s surprises.

Hear the rocks meant for the body of the adulterous woman drop to the ground.

Listen as the Messiah whispers to the Samaritan woman, “I who speak to you am he.”

Listen to the widow from Nain eating dinner with her son who is supposed to be dead…

God appearing in the strangest of places. Doing the strangest of things.

Stretching smiles where there had only been frowns. Placing twinkles where there were only tears.

(From Max Lucado Grace for the Moment Volume 2)