Rest

I am safely home and very happy to be with my little dog again. Now it is time for me to take a break from my blogging. I do not know for how long.

Wednesday

Since I have not been feeling very well, I rested a lot the last couple of days. Aila has been like glue to me the whole time. So today, we rested on the bottom bunk and watched 'Finding Nemo' on my laptop. That worked for us.

After dinner I told Anneka that I would go for a bike ride with her and Yvonne. She had asked me the other day, and I was not able, but I could not leave here without keeping my promise.




The smile on that child's face was radiant. When we got outside, Anneka said to me' Are you sure you know how to ride a bike Gramma?'I was sure and we had a nice ride.

Upon our return she says 'You did really good Gramma, you didn't fall once.'

So now I know my granddaughter is proud of me but also thinks I am one of the 'ancients'. I have certainly enjoyed my visit in spite of being under the weather.

Thursday finds me flying back to Toronto , a brief overnight with my other son and his lovely wife, then driving home on Friday to Sam and work in the evening.

I am very thankful to Yvonne and Jason for their love and hospitality to me this past week, and for all the cuddles and loves from the girls.

Tuesday

Today I am sick ... been away a year and have not been ill, now I have been hit with a bad cold...sniff...sniff...sneeze. Good night and may God bless and heal us.

Monday

The Manitoba Childrens Museum was a big hit with the girls today.


Happy time with arms full of this kind of love.




Girls just want to have fun !!! And we did.

Sanctuary

Sunday evening we went to Sanctuary House of Prayer. I am sharing a few pictures and thanking the Lord for this work He is doing . Such a huge blessing.


Brian and some of the band.

Joyska visiting from K.C.having a time in the Word.

Shane praying ....always praying, and Joel singing in the background.

More prayer for healing.

Some of the singers,we love.

The end of a lovely evening with the Lord and His friends.

Update

Like any normal Grandma, I came bearing gifts for the children.

There are these really cool things called skater shoes, and they are equiped with wheels in the heels , and can be used to walk or slide or some such action. I knew the boys really wanted them and found some at the Pickering flea market.
Problem is the task looks way more easy when someone else does it than when first starting out as Jared and Ryan found out.



A look can say it all.




I am sure they will get the hang of it eventually. Anneka feels the same way with hers I think.

Then today Aila and Anneka and I were off to McDonald's for breakfast,(a family favorite) though at a bit later hour than when they go with Daddy. Pancakes were the favorite and I am inclinded to agree . Then we went and shopped and shopped and finally ended our day at the park.




A wonderful day and a memory I will cherish .

Happy Reunion

My first day here. Tired but very loved by my girls. While the first part of the day Anneka was in school, Aila entertained Gramma.





Later in the afternoon of a beautiful warm spring day, Anneka brings me up to speed on her new bike, along with a dazzling demonstration of her technical skills.

It has been a long year away from these darlings, and I am so thankful to be here with them for a while and soak up their affections. Thank you Lord!

Gettin' Ready

Just two more sleeps and I get to see the family in Winnipeg. First there is work tomorrow and the next day I will fly away. Yay!

Flea Market Fun

Last Saturday my sisters and I had some fun time together browsing through the Pickering Flea Market. It is a huge building and sells everything from disounted make-up to the kitchen sink....literally. There are fresh fruit and produce stands and lots of choices if one wants lunch. We were there to browse, and perhaps do a 'little' shopping.

My sister JoAnne, who will kill me if she finds out I put her picture on my blog.



One of our favorite things to check out are the many sparkling jewellry booths, and the sale prices are pretty good .Some people will even barter . Amazing.

This is my baby sister Dar. She is a wise shopper. After we had exhasted ourselves at the flea marker we drove about 10 minutes further west on the 401 to continue the adventure at the Scarborough Town Centre Mall.



Spending time with my sisters is one of my favorite things to do since I have been back home.

Just sitting talking to Jesus tonight and remembering something He said to me a very long time ago.

'There is nothing you can do that will make me stop loving you...ever!'

On the brink of a something new. A portal, an opening, a way prepared where there was no way previously.

On another topic I finished my course tonight ...... yay ! Thank you Jesus for the strength to finish well.

He stretches out the north over empty space; He hangs the earth on nothing.

He drew a circular horizon on the face of the waters, at the boundary of light and darkness.




The pillars of heaven tremble, and are astonished at His rebuke. He stirs up the sea with His power, and by His understanding He breaks up the storm.

By His Spirit He adorned the heavens; His hand pierced the fleeing serpent.

Indeed these are the mere edges of His ways, And how small a whisper of Him!



This is the edges ! This is a whisper of Him ! Wow! But the thunder of His power who can understand? I wonder what that will look like. I think we will get to see some day.

The mere edges of His ways! This is what Job had discovered about God. Makes me wonder what kind of relationship he had with his Creator to be granted the wisdom and revelation of this magnitude.

At the end of his trials Job makes the declaration, ''I have heard of You by the hearing of my ear, But now my eye sees You.''

We know all about the famous trials of Job, and for many years I was hesitant to even read it because I was afraid that God would think I might look like his friend Job and desire to test me in a similar fashion.

Now, I am aware of the many passages rich with the revelation Job had from the Lord even before his trials. He surely had glimpses of the Majesty of the Lord, and that he called hearing with his ear!

I wonder what his eyes really saw ?

Weekend

This is Friday, and actually the beginning of my work week. I will work and hope to get a little rest. Ha! Good one !
In between working and sleeping I will hope to study for my final exam which is happening on next Wednesday evening.

These are the days of Great Grace for me, as I am honestly not able to keep this up for much longer. My body craves rest and needs to be replentished in a big way.

Even so I hear the Lord say 'Follow Me, Follow Me'. Give it all away and follow Me.

Mat 19:29 And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children (or grandchildren)(emphasis mine) or fields (apartments?) for my sake, will receive a hundred times more and will be given eternal life.

I guess there are times when I question His will , and hope and pray that God has truly led me along the difficult way.

Yep.... I'm really tired these days Lord. Everything, all of me is in Your Hands Jesus. I surrender to Your leadership and commit my way to You. I give you everything.

I am continually faced with having to think of new ways to get Sam's medicine into him without his being able to spit it out on me. He is becoming very good at sniffing out the offending morsel.

He is on Baytril,an antibiotic that helps keep pneumonia away, and also Codeine for pain, which is a little white nasty tasting pill. Both necessary for his palliative care.

He's checking out my toast and peanut butter and jam. You can tell he is asking for a bite. Not healthy I know, but better than nothing .



I wonder if it will work ?






Yay!!! At least that time it did!

Some things are just not in the manual.

This past weekend was a long one. I don't get a lot of sleep when I work . Tuesdays I work from three in the afternoon until nine a.m. the next morning, that being this morning.

Last night was one of those nights that someday I may write a story about. I cannot find a way Bevy, to spititualize this one, though I did think of Abraham and Sarah briefly, and I think I know why Sarah laughed.

At five a.m I awaken to the voice of my dear (90 year old) Lady proclaim,'Let's do it!'


Well, here we go again I groan.....and that is all I will say about that .

HAPPY EASTER



He is Risen ! He is Alive ! He makes all things New!
Thank You Jesus!

Success

Another hurdle successfully behind me! Tonight I finished my final exam in Transcription. This course , of all that I have attempted, was the one I feared the most, and the one I enjoyed the most. (Physical discomfort aside.)

I had to teach myself to type efficiently enough to even be able to attempt it in the first place. Transcription involves listening to doctors dictate patient results etc.and then transcribing the reports.

Many times, understanding the many different accents is certainly a challenge, not to mention becoming familiar with the medical terms, and deciphering these clearly.
One doctor, kept yawning , and everytime I had to rewind to try to hear what he was saying, I would yawn myself. Pretty funny at the time.

In the process of my education, it seemed I always found myself sitting beside someone already well accomplished in typing.
This revealed my deep inferiority complex, as the faster I heard these others typing, the more nervous and clumsy I became.

In spite of it all, by the time I finished I had learned to block out the intimidation I was feeling, and get the work done in time, and with confidence.

This is a most amazing thing for me. In the midst of all the distraction and distress with Sam's illness, constantly before my eyes, the Lord's grace continues to carry me through . I am very thankful.

I have only two weeks to go and my last course will be finished. Yay!!! I will receive a certificate that will tell me it was worth it all.

Then I plan to take a little vacation to see my beautiful grand children in Winnipeg.

Pass It Around

This is a beautiful post written by Mair , Ragamuffin Diva. This post is Holy Spirit breathed and moved me deeply . Mair has ears to hear and is a wonderful scribe.

Pass It Around

He’d leave us soon. We tried not to think of it as we followed Him, but you could tell He was between Heaven and Earth. He’d said as much. I saw in Him a kind of love-broken weariness, and it reminded me of how the poet prophet Isaiah described Him: looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain first-hand.

Passed Over.

He’d set the table, and we sat in the upper room, preparing for the feast. We were tired, and hungry, but glad to be with Jesus. The pungent scent of roasted lamb and bitter herbs rose like incense in the room. Night, as thick and palpable as fog, surrounded the house. The flames on the candles He lit bowed and rose in the breezy room, as if they too, worshiped Him.

He said to each of us, “Give me your feet.”

We grew silent, each of us removing our sandals.

I watch Him move across the room, dressed in the garment of a slave. Dear God, Jesus is on His knees, pouring water on our feet. The Son of God, the Son of Man, washing us as if the pitcher contained, then released His own tears, slipping between our toes, the filth of the world falling to the ground, now hallowed by His presence.

He sure knows how to make a mess of things.

I whispered to Him, “Thank you, Jesus.” Hot salty tears rolled from my cheeks, and mingled with Jesus’ hand when he reaches up to wipe my face.

"Master, let me wash yours." He refuses me.

“What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will after this,” He says to me.

He cleanses us all, every one of us, even the one who would betray Him.

“Do you understand what I have done to you?” His brown eyes shone in the candlelight. “You address me as ‘Teacher’, ‘Master’, and rightly so. That is what I am. So if I, the Master and Teacher washed your feet, you must now wash each others feet. I’ve laid down a pattern for you. What I’ve done, you do. A servant is not ranked above His master; an employee doesn’t give orders to the employer. If you understand what I’m telling you, act like it—and live a blessed life.”

Act like it, and live a blessed life.

He makes things so simple. But we didn't act like it. He told us to love one another. We didn't know how.

When it was time to sit down, all of us with him He said, "You have no idea how much I have looked forward to eating this Passover meal with you before I enter my time of suffering. It's the last one I'll eat until we all eat together in the kingdom of God."

We don't like to hear Him talk this way. I want to protest, but His eyes halt my cries. He takes His cup filled with wine. He blesses it. And this is a wonder, a mystery that I'll ponder for the rest of my life, and maybe the one to come--that single cup in His hand. His simple prayer. And these words as He passes it around.

"Take this and pass it among you. As for me, I'll not drink wine again until the kingdom of God arrives."

He takes bread. Does the same. A single loaf. We'd seen Him make thousands of loaves from just three, and now He takes His own singular offering. Whispers blessings. "This is my body, given for you. Eat it in my memory."

He's talking crazy again, I think. He is sick to death. Full of sadness. I didn't know. There are many days, even now, when I still act like I don't know.

We eat in silence. After the meal He takes the cup again. He blesses it. "This cup is the new covenant written in blood, blood poured out for you."

He sets off a storm of bickering among us. Who will betray Him? Who will sit with Him in His kingdom? Oh, but we had it all wrong. We had no idea what would come. Broken bread and bittersweet wine poured out, poured out, poured out. One small broken loaf of bread. All that wine spilled. For us? Expensive bread. Priceless wine. Broken. Blessed by a GodMan who washes feet while He's dressed like a slave. Who tells us to love each other like He's shown us. He tells us to serve one another. Who can understand it?

Even now, in my old age, I cannot fully fathom the mystery of it all. I don't even try. He's gone from us now. I only meet Him in quiet places. In silence. In prayer. At this table. I keep coming to the table. Hungry for Him. Thirsty for Him. Always listening for His voice. His whispered blessings over the meal. I keep trying, failing, and trying again to take it to heart. To do it.

Take this, pass it among you.

This is my Body.

This is my Blood.

Eat.

I am greedy for Him now. I wish I understood. I wish. No matter. It still nourishes just the same. All I have to do is partake and hand it over. Try to do it with all the love I can muster.

Take this. Eat it. Drink it.

Pass it around.

Isa. 53:2-6
John 13:1-30
Luke 22:1-38
All scripture quoted from The Message

Seasons Change

This is a photo of my 'Lady B'. In earlier times she used to walk everywhere. She was known around town as 'The Lady Who Walks'. A few years ago someone took a couple of pictures of her as she was out enjoying her daily walks. She was known to walk many miles, and always had a smile and friendly greeting for those she met. She is in amazing condition for a woman now in her ninety first year.



Now all the walking she gets to do is with her walker, around her home three times , from the living room to the kitchen, in a circle. Then back and forth to her bedroom.
She has the greatest and most gracious attitude all the time, except perhaps when 'M' gives Sam a little too much attention ... in her opinion.

She has also blessed me with her sense of humor and wit. When we walk by these photo's and I ask who is this girl in the pointy hat/head ? Her response is ' that is the best picture ever taken of me' Doesnt show my face!. She cracks me up sometimes.

Today as I was getting her washed and dressed I was so aware of her vulnerability.She likely never imagined during her long walks that the day would come when she would no longer be able to walk without assistance.

Kind of makes you wonder sometimes. I said to her yesterday, 'B.' You have had a wonderful life haven't you?' and she responded with ' I am 'still having' a wonderful life! I count my blessings every night.' What a trouper Lady B. is !

Strength in Weakness

That is the title of this painting by David Costello. Just seems to say it all for me these days , as I am carried by 'Grace' through each hour , day and week .

Sitting here on my bed tonight, Sam is stretched out beside me, finding a comfortable position to breathe easier. As well,I am able to take him with me when I work these days. The family has asked that I bring him along as Sam is good therapy for my Mr.

In two weeks I will finish my Transcription course, which I am really enjoying. My typing is coming along pretty well too, so progress is there. My last course finishes in 4 weeks, and I will have my certificate. Now all I will need is a job to top it all off.

I had a lovely phone call from Anneka and Aila yesterday.
They called to tell me they miss me.Isn't that so sweet ? Sometimes if we time it right, Anneka MSN's me. Lord Jesus, I sure miss those girls! I hope I can find a way to visit soon , but it will have to be after Sam is gone since to fly with him in his condition is too stressful for him . So I will see what the Lord will do.

In the meantime I will try to hang in and hang on, and will be very glad when this particular season is finished in my life.

At least Spring has arrived , the sun is warm, and even the rain is welcome. Today, I didn't even mind cleaning up a lot of doggy doo , which until recently remained hidden beneath the snow.
Actually I have been cleaning up personal 'doo' as well that has been hidden beneath the layers of 'snow' in my heart.

Weakness. I know about that. So I am thankful that His Strength sustains me through these days as I am hidden in Love Himself. Thank You Jesus!

Storm Approaching

Recently, while tuned in to the Prayer Room, I heard a few phrases from the worship that stirred my heart to listen more closely. There are times in the midst of the daily grind with all its distractions and demands, I can loose my focus.

The raging winds that assault my life at times get blamed on God, thinking that His testing will never end, when really it is the enemy of my soul taunting my faith.

There's a Storm comin' My heart needs God!
There's a Storm on the horizon, It's not going away.
There's God on the horizon. He's not goin' away!

The Season is changing.

The Lord shares His secrets with His friends.

Then the the other day, I opened my bible to Isaiah 32.

Behold , a King.....

A Man will be as a Hiding Place from the wind, and a cover from the tempest.


I am so grateful for the Living Word of God. Jesus. My Hiding Place. He is Real. That's the Truth. I believe Him.

Shadows gather around me these days. Sam's decline and eventual passing. Waiting for the Lord to provide and make a way in the fullness of His Will for my life. The taunting voice of the enemy that mocks and presses unbelief upon me to the point of despair.

Many times I feel forgotten by God. Perhaps some have known these feelings. Joseph in the dungeon, David, Jesus from the cross.

Psalm 42:3 My tears have been my food day and night, while 'they' continually say to me, Where is your God?

Sometimes we need discernment as to who is really asking us to drink the cup that hovers before our eyes.

Then the Lightning flashes to reveal the lies, and here and there I hear the Voice of a Friend from afar, shoot arrows of Truth and encouragement into my grieving soul.

Lord, thank you for the Words of Life You have written through Your Spirit and breathed into my heart in the midst of the storms of life.

I believe there really is a God Storm coming, and all the tensions I endure will enable me to stand firm and unoffended in that day. I find myself in the Man who is my Hiding Place.

The other day I was listening to some of the teachings from my 'Excellencies of Christ' class. Allen Hood is a great teacher. The thing that struck me again was just how much the validity of the Word of God and the Diety if Christ is under assault.

We know that Satan is doing this, but what I have been encountering is the fact that there are many Christians who are buying into that lie. I believe that the bible is God breathed by Holy Spirit, and when He opens my heart to the revelation of Jesus I am astounded.

In the early years of my christian experience the word really seemed like dead words on the page. Later there were times when His Presence breathed on me and the words on the pages became a Living Person, revealing Himself and His Plan to my heart. Then again, He would seem to withdraw and I would be fighting to find life in those same words that lived only a short time ago.

The enemy is out to abolish the Truth of the Word, like Hitler burned bibles and books that threatened his ideology during the second world war. He has not changed his tactics.
I am encouraged by the Word that declares.

Psalm 2:1-4 Why do the nations rage, and the peoples plot a vain thing?
The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel against the Lord and against His Anointed, saying, Let us break Their bonds in pieces,and cast away Their cords from us.

verse 4: He Who sits in the heavens laughs: the Lord shall hold them in derision. Then He shall speak to them in His wrath, and distress them in His deep displeasure.

The Storm that approaches will confront the 'spirit of the age, the anti-christ spirit' that even Jesus had to deal with in His time on the earth. As the days pass, and the cares of this world press in upon us, distracting us from what is around the corner, the measuring line is stretched out.

'He who is not with Me is against Me.' said Jesus. In the darkness of this hour our faith in Jesus will stand firm as we strengthen ourselves in His Word. It is this Living Word that will give us discernment in identifying the Real Jesus in the days ahead.

The tactics of the enemy have never really changed. It was in the Garden of God where he said to Eve, 'did God really say?' He seems to never tire in repeating this whisper in our ears.

Yes.... God really did say !!!!!

Come

We know God because He chooses to reveal Himself. He is the Holy One who chooses to disclose Himself. He is the Mystery made known. He is Pleasure Immeasurable. Delight Consummate. He is the Overflowing God.

He is the reason I exist, to give Him pleasure. The reason He made me was so that I could enjoy Him and He could enjoy me.

He is clothed in Light like a garment, and He invites me to come in out of the darkness that threatens to rob me of that Knowledge, in to the welcome safety of His Embrace.

The door is always open and He is speaking to me. I hear Him calling out to come near as He conquers the mountains before me. His is the Voice of many waters, beconning me.

Today I incline my ear and listen.

"Do you trust me ? Leave your fears behind .
Come away,I am doing a new thing. Trust My Leadership. Get out of the boat and walk on the water with Me."

Help me God, I want to walk on the water with You.

Longing For Refreshing

This painting truly depicts the desire of my weary heart these days. How I would love to find a place just like this. A wilderness place far from the cares and stresses of everyday life, surounded by angelic beings waiting with me the Arrival of the Desire of my heart. I want to be found faithful Lord .

In real life though I sit here burning c.d.'s for my good friend Bevy. I have just finished a very long three weeks of work. I am so tired, that sleep eludes me. Earlier in the evening I attended one of my classes, also a nice break from the stuff that tears at my soul.

I am so tired of grieving. I am tired of being with my seniors, and wonder what the heck am I doing ???? A few days ago my Mr., who has been declining further into the abyss of Alzheimers began to show increasing aggression and aggitation.

It was verbal not physical, but some of it, in his confusion was directed at his little wife. I could feel it in the air. This really pressed some of my buttons I can tell you. All I wanted to do was to protect her , and it was only later that I realized the incident had triggered deep places in my own memories. Yes, it still happens! Things from the past get triggered at unfortunate times .

My Mr.'s anger was being misdirected at his wife, but really, he is very angry with himself. In the rare moments the 'real' person surfaces for a few minutes he expresses his self loathing that he has become a 'gibbering idiot' as he called himself.It is so very sad, and I do not begin to understand the mystery or the purpose of any of it.

All I really know is that the Lord sees it all. Everything. He sees these dear people, He knows that I do not want to do this any longer, He knows what His plan is. I just wish He'd tell me.
I will confess one thing though....I have reluctantly learned to play Fish, and I actually enjoy this crazy senario once in a while. Bizzaro World !!!!! Speaking of which....

My little pal Sam has been challenging my ingenuity in finding ways to get his pills into him. A few times when he would not eat, I tried to force the tiny half a pill past his teeth and down his throat. Well.... he has learned to fight me really well on that one , so well in fact that I stopped trying .
It seemed too mean and cruel and besides that his little teeth are still very sharp and can he hold his mouth shut !!!! I am just trying to find the right medication for his pain relief so he can be comfortable. He has some good days and some not very good days.

So I remembered his favorite food is chicken, and bought him his own little pieces of bar-b-que chicken. That worked and I rejoiced, until Sam found the little pill and deftly spit it out all the while not losing any of the chicken. He is brilliant at manoevering that thing out of his mouth. Have I mentioned that I am very tired these days, I wonder why Lord ?????

This weekend Sam and I are heading to Toronto to visit my son and his beautiful wife. Sam will meet Maggie.


Do not be deceived by the sorry look on Sam after a recent bath, for when he meets large and very friendly and playful Maggie for the first time I know I will be very embarassed. Sam does not know that he is a very little dog, and he does not realize that he is sick and dying. If he did I am sure that would not make much of a difference to him. I have the feeling that he will want Maggie to know just who is really in charge at least vocally anyway.
My wonderful son has ensured me that Sam is welcome and that Maggie can handle anything. I just hope I can! I will bring a 'time out' towel for Sam just in case.

Funny how talking about our pets can cheer a girl up. Thanks Lord!