Bumpy Landing

My history is one of crash landings. That's me underneath the insructor and the parachute, with the video guy capturing the event. I wish I would remember this before I go forward gung-ho into transition, flying high and naive, looking for the perfect landing. Jesus, always right there taking movies and going Home to brag on His kid...me.

My friend Bevy reminded me that my landing in Kansas was not very smooth either. Even in the early days, I wanted to flee from the very thing I had dreamed about for years.

Recently, when visiting there again, I was talking with a friend, who was telling me how the Lord brought to fruition the dream of her heart. A dream she told no one about, ever, just Jesus, and He was the One who brought it all to pass.

What an encouragement that was to me. We laughed together as we both realized that it was He who had planted His Dream in her heart, and He Alone was the One able to bring it to pass.

Tonight I am reminded that He has given me a dream as well. A couple actually, and I know they are His Dreams for me as well. So why do I always forget that, and second guess Him ? Huh!

How hard can it be to walk on water right ? Ha ! Immersed in the prayer room atmosphere, all things seem possible, and then in the face of the actual getting out of the boat, or climbing willingly onto the cross with Christ, I seem to prefer to run screaming from the room or the cross.

Yet I have discovered that the Cross is actually the safest place to run to, but still can forget that at times of intense testing and stress. God's Word still stands firm in spite of my fears, thank God!

Today, I took Sam on a tour of my home town. I went back to the river, a favorite place of mine. We sat on the damp grass, He sniffing madly all the nooks and cranny's of the twisted tree trunk we were leaning upon, and me, just looking at all the changes the years have brought to the surrounding river front.

At one point a warm breeze caused a lovely sight. The"seed keys" of the maple trees, were hanging thickly upon the branches, and as the wind blew through, these twirling, whirling, seeds flew almost joyfully through the air, all competing to see who could get farthest out into the river.
Once there, they would float downstream. Only some would eventually find the perfect place to'die', to later become a huge beautiful Maple tree profuse with exploding color in the fall many years later.

Even now, I hear the songs of the prayer room reminding me that Wisdom cries out to go to the mountain of myhrr. So easy to say yes from that place of worship. The actual 'event' of death to all that hinders Love is not so poetic, but I think I detect the hint of a smile on the Face of Jesus as He strengthens me in the journey He has already walked before me.

Today, at the place where once I could imagine Jesus coming to rescue me in His little rowboat, something different occured. I sensed Him coming toward me across the water, walking.

The Invitation is there. I'm so tired and scared Lord, how can I come out there and join myself to You ? He extended His hand to me, and I know that He also includes the strength, faith, and ablility to trust Him in this next season of going low, even though my flesh complains loudly to Him all the way. So I come Lord.